More than a yogi (can) bear

I always knew Miss Piggy and I were kindred spirits – we both do yoga

Ohhhhmmmm…my God, I’ve become someone I don’t even recognise.  I have started doing yoga and I’m actually enjoying it.  Hate to say it, but I tend to enjoy the type of exercise that involves being yelled at by someone, punching things, whipping skipping ropes and shipping ropes around a room and biking/jumping up and down at the back of a class, giggling, while others up the front woohoo through the endorphin high.  Nerds!  Being the very unbendy person I am, I was also surprised I was able to do most things the lovely Jacqui teaches us and I like any exercise you can pretty much do in your pyjamas and involves 10 minutes of lying down at the end.

But, all this cobra-ing, downward facing dog-ging, and lotus flower-ing is not helping me with my anger at the moment.  I can’t remember being this effing cranky for quite some time.  That’s because, while I have been doing yoga, I have also been forced to do the most pointless and ineffectual activity known to man and that is trying to reason with a completely unreasonable person – correction – people.

So why do I continue beating my head against the proverbial wall, when banging my head against an actual wall would be so much more pleasant, because at least I’d knock myself out eventually?  Because I’m not a millionaire.  That’s why.  If I was rich, I wouldn’t have to work and I wouldn’t have to talk to flipping pooheads, who have no idea what they’re talking about, but seem to continually tell me they’re awesome at their job.

While I sat on a teleconference this afternoon, I’m ashamed I considered letting the sisterhood down by faking a cry to end the insanity.  Sorry girls, but I can’t vomit or faint on command, so I was left with having a sook.  You’ll be proud to know I didn’t, but I now having a splitting headache because I didn’t get to do anything dramatic.  NO FAIR.

Is there anything more frustrating than listening to someone telling you they’re listening to you, when they are so obviously not?  Grrr.  I feel like kicking something… mainly a six foot American who uses way too many exclamation points and smiley faces in emails for a man.

I will not go into details of the other person who is annoying me, but I will say that karma better be a bitch.  A big fat, vengeful, nasty, arse-kicking bitch, with long nails and bad breath.

Maybe I need to follow more closely in Piggy footsteps and take up karate. Heeeeeya!

Anyway, so now I’ve had my rant, I’m wondering how I can get the Zen happening and reap the benefits of yoga and become someone who talking in that nice breathy, yoga way and be all ‘whatever will be, will be’.  I shall ponder this while I stomp home listening to something really relaxing like Metallica or the Presets.

Anyways, namaste, beeyotches.  I’m going to go and punch something now.