‘Oh hi, Claire. Nice to meet you. What are your interests?’
“Oh hi, Fred, lovely to meet you too. Thanks for asking. My interests include pink wine, yelling at my television, reality shows where the people are frequently drunk, making up songs about my pets, and murder. How about you?’
Come on, Fred. Can’t we just get along?
I wonder why I don’t get invited to parties anymore. It’s so weird.
But perhaps it’s the right time to ask, how much true crime is too much?
Is it bad that my immediate reaction when my husband stated, ‘you watch so much true crime, that I’m concerned you’re picking up tips to murder me,’ was not, ‘don’t be silly, Mr C!’, but ‘nah, watching this much true crime has taught me there is no such thing as a perfect murder and it’s really hard to get away with’? See, television does teach you things! Thank you, Forensic Files.
I am currently watching two television shows, listening to four different podcasts, and reading one book all of the true crime genre. As a little girl, I was strangely drawn to programs like Australia’s Most Wanted – despite not really being allowed to watch it. But now that true crime is so readily accessible via subscription television, podcasts on our phones, and online articles – and I’m a goddamn grown-ass woman and I can watch what I want – I’m on a bigger binge than a Hollywood actress after the Oscar’s ceremony.
I first wondered if I had a problem when I was walking home from the bus one night, with My Favourite Murder buzzing through my earphones. I had a sudden, irrational fear that the man walking towards me was going to abduct and kill me. Because, you know, a slightly chubby woman in her extreme twenties walking along bumper-to-bumper Kelvin Grove Road is perfect kidnap and murder fodder.
See? It’s not just me. A very valid concern.
The next time alarm bells rang was when watching Blind Date and despite being deeply distracted by Julia Morris’s fabulous disco ball-inspired dress, I proceeded to give Mr C a run down on the ‘Dating Game Killer’, Rodney Alcala. Yeah, I know you didn’t ask, Mr C, but you said you’d love me in sickness and health. This is my sickness!
Ok, I’m going to spend some time on my other interests. Imbibing pink wine, while I yell at the dummies on Vanderpump Rules seems like a valuable and efficient use of my time. And there is this awesome girl on there, Stassi, who talks about gruesome ways she could kill her fellow cast mates she doesn’t like…Oh dear. I might need help.
Tell me, what are your interests that are perhaps a bit unusual or unpopular? Or am I the only sicko here?
It's Claire as mud 
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