Hey, Victoria Secrets! Did you know that there are ways you can describe your clothing and accessories other than sexy? Who knew a pea-coat or ugg boots could be sexy, until they stumbled upon the US underwear site? I understand VS has made its name by selling ladies undergarments and unmentionables, but they have since branched into clothing that isn’t really sitting at the sexy end of the sartorial spectrum.
While looking for a pair of yoga pants – or fancy tracky daks if we’re being honest – I was stunned to see them described as sexy. Along with a suggested t-shirt, which was also meant to be sexy. I could have also bought a pair of sexy sports socks. Well my oh my, a bit of terry towelling can heat things up, but I was thinking more in the ‘geez, it’s cold, I’m going to put some socks on’ kinda way and not the bow-chika-bow-wow way. Soxy.
If there is such a thing as a sexy onesie, this might be it.
Getting my cleavage out is the least of my concerns when I’m at the gym, so why are so many sports bras at Lorna Jane and its ilk boasting about their boosting qualities? Gyms ain’t sexy. They certainly don’t smell sexy. And I don’t know about you, but staving off hernias while heaving weights over my head certainly doesn’t get me feeling amorous… so I don’t really feel the need to waggle my boosies around while concentrating on not vomiting or stopping my lungs from exploding. I’m curious to know why you would want your sports bra to have the ability to also boost your cleavage right out of your sweaty gym singlet. I’m not even blessed in the chest department, but I still want those suckers strapped down when I’m hopping up and down in gym class like a deranged jumping bean. Better our fun bags be bound and bandaged and still sitting on the right side of our belts in 40 years, rather than hoisted high with more engineering that required for the Story Bridge and being tucked into our underpants on our 70th birthdays.
Why on earth does everything have to be sexy? I’ve never been one to aspire to be sexy. I’m usually happy with merely presentable or ‘look, she managed to get out of the house without wearing her breakfast’, but I’m starting to get exhausted by the constant expectation that everyone and everything needs to be sexy all the time. I’ll tell you what, cleaning the cat’s litter tray ain’t sexy and neither is having to drag out the very full garbage bins – not everything can be sexy.
What I’d like to know is, if you go about your day dressed in a sexy manner and acting in a sexy way, what do you do if and when you turn it on? This must be what it’s like to live in an episode of Jersey Shore. Cue the stripper shoes and copious confidence drinking. Vom.
Or, hey erotically-interesting, incredibly intelligent and endlessly fascinating woman!
I don’t mean to bag out being sexy, there really is nothing wrong with it at appropriate times and places (yes, I am a prude), but must it be all day, every day, with everything and everyone?
Sisters, surely we can aspire to be more than just sexy day in, day out or at least use more imaginative adjectives.
It's Claire as mud 